Have i mentioned that i have the most awesome riding mentor ever? Yeah...cuz i do. MJ took me out again last night to practice more.
We did some practice in the parking lot-- stopping and going. But we also rode with a 3rd person, so i had to get used to having someone behind me. For the most part, i forgot Sue was back there, but in the back of my head i knew she was there and keeping me safe, which somehow made me feel better. I felt protected.
We did some really tight slow turns in the parking lot, and for the most part I did ok-- I missed the final cone a few times, but also i made it around all of the cones a a couple of times too, so I was pleased.
It comes down to this: I'm scared to go fast. I'm perfectly happy at about 45 miles per hour. I feel in control of the bike and myself at that speed. I like that speed. Any thing faster makes me nervous and feel less able to control the bike.
Is there something wrong with only wanting to go "so" fast? Does that make me a poor biker?
So, yesterday was the first time I had ridden again since the almost-accident. It took me a few miles before i was able to breathe on the back of the bike again. It didn't help that it was spitting rain on me too. My mentor and i went down to the lake and did a lot of practice-- primarily turning. I get very nervous about turning, especially from a stop. So we practiced a lot of turns and some stopping as well.
I'm fine in the parking lot.
I'm fine on the small roads down by the lakefront where I never get above 40mph and rarely hit 5th gear.
I'm fine on the little side streets in the neighborhood.
I'm not so fine when I start thinking about real roads.
Even though in October, I was just fine-- fine enough to do the twisties in the ravines and fine enough to ride out to a suburb on backroads and back home without major incident. My confidence is shot.